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weekly word! issue 2!
this is gonna b my online newspaper/magazine/gossip column
7th june 03 |
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the main head line wud go here, this week:
WEEKLY WORD STARTED!!
. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"..
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willow fest
it totally kicked ass in every way ass cud b kicked!!!
the best days o my life so far!! well maybe...
tell me ur views on my forum on the 'wots new' pg |
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jobs
me and lou have jobs as reporters for a to be national paper called THE PAPER!! well thats really all there is 2 say!!
tell me if u want a copy of the paper wen our articles are released!!
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pic of the week>>>>>>>>>>>>
he has got a point |
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lyrics of the week: nirvana; come as you are
Come as you are, as you were,
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy
Take your time, hurry up
The choice is your, don't be late
Take a rest as a friend as an old memoria
Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memoria
And I swear that I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
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life explained , a joke
Life Explained
On the first day Lord created cow.
And Lord said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer.
I will give you a life span of sixty years."
Cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.
Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And Lord agreed.
On the second day Lord created dog.
And to dog, Lord said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
I will give you a life span of twenty years."
Dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten. So Lord agreed (sigh).
On the third day Lord created monkey. Lord said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.
I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay? And Lord agreed again.
On the fourth day Lord created man. Lord said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy.
I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten monkey gave back, and the ten dog gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said Lord. "You've got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
Life has now been explained.
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
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willow fest
hey not long now!! its on 11/12/13 July 2003 and i already know a few ppeps planning to sleep it/ live it out!!!!!!!!!!
i no i'll b there wiv me mates!
will you??
it on the embankment.
The Festival in 2002, saw 120 bands perform on six stages over 3 days, playing to an audience in excess of 38,000. Bands travelled from all over the UK to play and featured ska/reggae band, Bad Manners!
Attractions in addition to the live music include the food village, alternative market stalls, all day bars, extreme rides, children's funfair, giant bouncy castles, quad bikes, riverside picnic area and much, more...
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useless info
Useless Knowledge
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enoughsound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is producedto create the energy of an atomic bomb.(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to itsbody. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping thelength of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig.. can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know. Federal Government gave a milliongrant to find this out.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed People live, on average, nine years longer than left-handedpeople.(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)
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see ya nxt time!!
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